not under righteous conscience

they said cowards walk out of reality.


what to deny about it?Nothing,to be exact.

to drop or to drag.

they're not favourable options,though.

but as further i go,more uncertainty filling the room.

occupying th mindless soul.

ah,and again,the lunatic speaks trash.

a bit here,a bit there

about raya.
two things i kept on questioning.
1.)kids nowadays (referring to:my sisters n lil cous) they dont go kutip2 duit raya around th kampung.oh,why??i stll remember how excited we all mingled togethaa(me,sisters,cousins,& some of my childhood friends)strolling down th kampong and kutip2 duit raya(siap ada target rumah bagi 20 sen je pftt) and i'd ths one time,me,and my sister,dua2 kain terkoyak sebab naik tangga rumah pak ape tah,then we cry all th way back(+ pak cik tu suro basuh pinggan sendiri).uish,ape la pak cik..!lol!

2.)kids nowadays they dont play masak2 like us waktu kecik2 dulu.i was like 'hey,dulu2 kiteorg siap guna au natural ingredients kat luar rumah tu je,masak pasir,letak air sikit,daun bunga kertas,bubuh atas kuali(atas dapur buatan sendiri),bawah rumah..!haha
how time flew!as if like im already grown ups,unable to do ths kiddy stuffs.some of us already married,and we laughs at ourselves bile bercerita balik. its fun tho just to reminiscing,again.
few flashbacks arent sins.

3.)i love my family.God please make us stay togethr through the rain :(

about them.

1.)i meet em.happy enough.

2.)brought some caramel,utk kak mah.she wanted it really bad.tapi bawak tak banyak.thus we kept it a secret.

3.).on our way for lunch dengan noma.i meet him.gosh!starstruck!th guy i'd head over heels sewaktu dahulu.we did chat for awhile,weee and i never want it to stop.got to say babai.was starved like hell.

materials speaking.
1.)finding th rightest nude.th girl at th counter applied every nude shades as possible on my lips.nahh.wasnt impressed at all.haih.currently,still hunting.

2.)got my eye on these flats.sorry to say but never compromise yourself on discounted items.grab while you can hence,it's mine.

3.)into consideration.and so she said she gave me 10% on th rockstar not-so-rockstar bag.it's okay.keep aiming! :)

4.)I gave up on th moschino's!more important stuffs on th list,seperti pen dakwat hitam 0.1,0.2,0.3,0.4,0.5 and th list goes on and on.better keep this 30% off unique scarfed watch on hold.

about 12/9/11
1.)i cant decide th feeling.it;s either thrill or shrill.

2.)i havent go through th pre-death brief.still,i have to,eventually.

3.)I'M NOT effing READY.

4.)i want to hibernate more.

5.)i think i'm a bear.

6.)i dont need school.

7.)i need cool place i can shed myself.im a bear.

8.)on second thought no,im not!

9.)im just th last person on earth who doesnt want to exit herself frm ths holiday...

10.)I'M LITERALLY CRYING OUT LOUD! :'"""(

p/s:i'm a tad concern bout what's gonna happen later in ths 5th sem.catastrophy,again?hell no.

i want it sounds beautiful.

That's right,then only we can take it to our heart,innit?
few days left before, raya..

and before, God-knows-what happening,next after raya.

i dont like reminding myself again,&again

had enough of hyperventilation reading th endless brief frm my lect.little will suffice,okay..

lets not rant this time.rght now,i want to talk good.

read more then you can do more.

but,work hard,and does it mean you can spend harder??

thats an absolute false fact well in fact it's not good practicing such habit.

so right now,parallel to ths blessed Ramadhan i'm tryin to lessen th intensity of devouring those things i crave hard enough,resisting temptation frm  'duniawi' materials tht keepin us from seeking the most  prominent reason why  we should've celebrate Ramadhan the way we should,diminishing those of which leaves your heart obscure,ridding th uncertainties tht keeping us company all ths while.
Ramadhan, ini aku harapkan
Improving.
Cleansing our body & soul,
amend by patience,along with pure wisdom,,to bcome th better one.

There's beautiful wonders for us to discover laying underneath this thick sheet of ego & carelessness.
Searching things to comprehend somehow lead us to better understandings.

There's still fat chance of hopes,in finding the real treasures and hidayah frm Him.Insyallah..

i  dont want getting end with agony.

the life He bestow to us.

Learn to appreciate.everything that revolves around us.

Alhamdullilah :) Salam Ramadhan..

p/s:it turns out i'm th general cookie-baking manager(self-entitled)for all 4 types of moms cookies!though im not really th number 1 fan to bake em cookies,at first.hahah =)
  

For what i shall conceal,from the eyes of the audience,gets me wonder sometimes.to whom,where or where i shall render these uninvited feelings. im not welcoming  em' to inhabit inside nor letting them overpowering my conscience.NO,i wont.yet ,finding strength to prevail against them is hard, though.But. they'd once said,let bygones be bygones.then only you can continue surviving,in the upcoming battles.Retrieving victories.just like the one you'd possessed before.

here you go!i'm at this is one moment*suprisingly not the awkward one* when i'm least expecting for the details of knowing something tremendously bad is gonna happen.atleast without looking back,i ll shut my eyes & covers those ears from the harsh truth-revealing(sooner) *will help me get through this*.gahh this is time when truth seems absurd,babe.

DearGod,please finish me.*with a happy ending,perhaps?*

p/s:beat me on something you hardly complaint about.then you win.

and after the exclusion of  the other thoughts,its your presence which stays linger in the realm of my deepest thoughts.
*and tetibe mak call suruh turun bawah sekarang!*haha to be continued..

all of sudden all i need is what's in past.

 i rather 'play happy' than shows the true off-set sadness,dear.
u should now learn it's a bittersweet world out there & colours everything in between and, as ruthless as the world could be,we always have them around.Dear God,thanks much.. =) bcause what you'd given is more than enough.

p/s: the feelings afterwards?who cares.